Talk Over Tea – Part 2

Talk Over Tea – Part 2
By
Kate Alexander-Kirk © 28-05-2012

Jean’s impatient taps of her manicured nails rattle across the Formica tabletop. She doesn’t like to be kept waiting. Especially not in the unprecedented heat-wave which glistens her brow. She sneaks a furtive glance around her, checks the door, ready to pounce on Isobel the moment she arrives. The incomprehensible buzz of chitchat causes her further irritation as she struggles to eavesdrop over the cacophony and clatter of dirty cutlery.

The waitress stares at her; the café is inordinately busy. Jean grits her teeth. Forces her plum glossed lips into a tight smile and ignores the queue of people eyeing her table. Instead, points her head up, contemplates the ceiling; avoids eye contact.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Jean –“

“At last! Where have you been? I’ve been getting the evil eye.”

“I’m sorry, I was –“

“Honestly, if looks could kill. I mean, Isobel. It’s the age of modern technology – you could have at least text me.”

“Well, if you’d check your phone once in a while instead of moaning your drawers off, you’d realise that I’ve been calling you for the last twenty minutes.”

“Me?”

“And don’t bother telling me your phone’s switched off, because it’s not. It kept ringing out and ringing out. I held on for ages.”

Jean rifles through her Mary Poppins inspired handbag. In her search for the phone she brings out a packet of tissues, a dog-eared paperback with a steamy front cover and a bashed Granny Smith apple. She places the phone on the table and roots around in her bag for her specs. The glasses are horn rimmed, the lenses smudged. Isobel sighs as Jean puffs onto each lens before rubbing with her cardigan sleeve. She squints down at the blinking message on the phone’s screen.

“Seven – missed… calls from… Oh, they’re all from you, Isobel.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Oh,” Jean chuckles, “That’s funny. I kept hearing this constant ringing and I was wishing the person would answer their bleedin’ phone!”

Isobel rolls her eyes as the waitress comes over, pad in hand.

“What would you like?”

Jean removes her glasses as Isobel leans towards the cake display, licking her lips.

“What will I have…? Hmm… What have you got today?”

“We’ve got éclairs, treacle tart, fly cemetery, strawberry tart, drop scones, jam tarts, snowballs…”

“Come on, Isobel. What are you playing at?”

“What?”

“She’ll have a scone and jam and I’ll have the caramel shortcake.”

“The last piece’s just been sold.”

“Bugger, Isobel. If you hadn’t have kept me waiting, I’d have had that cake.”

“You’re acting like it was deliberate. Bloody caramel shortcake. You can have that any day. It’s not even all that good here.”

“Eh, excuse me,” pipes in the waitress, “That’s my mum’s homemade cake.”

“Sorry, darling’, no offence intended. We’ll just bring us a couple of scones and some clotted cream and jam. And a couple of pots of tea.”

“I don’t want a bloody scone.”

“Tough. You’re having it. I’ve got important news. That’s why I’m late.”

Jean’s still muttering her dissent as the waitress returns. She clunks their plates down heavily. Isobel ignores her, leans in, conspiratorially.

“I met Rita on my way here. Remember Willy Fraser?”

“Aye – the Minister’s son?”

“Yes.”

They pause as the two metal teapots are plonked down, before re-huddling.

“He’s left Effie.”

“Never -”

Jean gasps, stirring the contents of her teapot briskly.

“Seemingly he’s been having it off with this one for months now.”

“That’s terrible!”

“I know. It’s the talk of the town. These two cavorting behind Effie’s back.”

“Oh my – she’ll be mortified!” Isobel nods with agreement. “Poor soul, is it someone younger and better looking?”

“Well, not younger. As for better looking… I guess that depends on your taste, really.”

Jean looks up, “Go on!”

“Well,” Isobel continues in a stage whisper, “He’s left her for big Stevie – the butcher!”

There is a momentary lull; the customers unite in a shocked gasp as Jean thuds to the floor. Isobel pours the tea regardless.

“Eh, is she alright?” the waitress trills. “Shouldn’t we help her up?”

“She’ll be fine in a moment, dear. But if you’ve got a wee dram – that might help with the shock…”

Tune in next week for the continuing saga of Jean and Isobel…

Ms Katykins

Cruel to Cats?

When I was discussing my fear of cats the other day, I neglected to comment on the two varieties of cats that I do really like.

1. Cats who secretly think they are dogs.
I love these cats. These are the ones that are not standoffish. They can be a little aloof but only in a ‘Hey, how you doing? Yeah, I see you’re there, but I don’t really feel like hanging with you now, so I’m gonna chill out over here’ type of way… What’s that you say? Those ones are stoner cats? Oh, okay…

Thank you google image!

2. Cartoon Cats.
I really do love cartoon cats. Cartoon cats are just pretty darn sassy. I decided to make a list of five of my favourites.

5. The Cheshire Cat
I love him in the book but I also adore the Disney representation of him. He’s so naughty and utterly random. Gosh, I’m beginning to fear that I’m a bit catlike. I spot myself doing things similar to him: being deliberately wanky just to annoy folk. I can’t lie. What can I say, it’s my sarcastic nature.

Courtesy of Google Image

4. Heathecliff and his Gang
I used to watch this cartoon very early in the morning. It was a weird one. I always felt like I was the only one up who ever watched it, it came on before or after ‘Dennis’. This was a strange cartoon, quirky and I loved all the leg warmers. It’s funny how Heathcliff was just a regular cat, all the others were dressed up like humans.

Courtesy of Google Image

3. The Cat in the Hat
This boy’s an unusual one. He doesn’t make it all the way to the top of my list because he’s a trouble maker. There’s no denying it. He really is a badass. Maybe I’m most like this cat. Really. I annoy my man all of the time, I really do. Most of the time I do it purposefully. I can’t lie about that. A lot of the time, I’m just trying to have fun, as is the Cat in the Hat. Plus we always tidy up our mess.

2. Bagheera
Okay. We’re going into a bizarre area here, but if I was a cartoon animal and got to pick who I could/would have a cartoon animal affair with, Bagheera would be the one. He’s so sleek, attractive and Sebastian Cabot provided him with such a wonderful voice, he’d be just too hard to resist. Of course he’s also the type who appears to be a little straight laced so it’d be fun leading him astray. Okay, shut up, Kate, you’re taking this too far!

1. The Pink Panther
I have his cartoon box set. He’s so funny. The thing is, really, he’s a bit of a shit. He does a lot of mean things that sometimes make you think, ‘well Mr Pink Panther, you kind of deserved that!’ Still, I do love him. I can sometimes relate to him, but watching the little cartoons always make me feel better after a rough day. Five minute segments that are a real pick-me-up. Here is one of my favourites: Cat and the Pinkstalk – I love when he bounces on the jelly and runs on the butter.

Which cool cats do you like?

Ms Katykins

Who’s For Tea?

So, Maggie, did I mention something about a tea blog…? Well, there’s no putting it off any longer!

I insist on how much I love tea yet I’ve not written a tea themed post. Shameful! I keep promising to and up until now I was intending to focus on the reasons and varieties of tea I like. That’s plain crazy. The mad heat-wave in Stornoway and the rest of the UK and Scandinavia, evidently, has made me realise that I can break my tea love down into more manageable chunks! That suits me because I’m not just into one type. I don’t only drink regular tea or ‘builders’ tea’ as people in the UK often call it.

It’s hot here and I mean really hot. Okay, hot for pasty Scots who are more suited to howling wind and constant drizzle. On Saturday morning I woke up too damn early because it’s bright here at 5am – if not earlier. It would be a really nice way to wake up if it wasn’t so early! We had been out the night before at the monthly Metal Night and so I woke up a little overtired and I guess a little hung-over. The early morning warmth did not help. Cue Green Tea.

I used to drink a lot of bagged Green Tea, but I far prefer Loose Leaf Tea – in all varieties. I think it’s better. Fuller flavour, it seems to be more pure – less of the leftover crap that gets flung in the bags. When I feel civilised and domesticated enough, I prepare a pot of green tea (Gun Powder is my chosen variety, although there are tons of different ones to choose from) to accompany dinner. Here are a few good tips for its preparation:

1. Warm your teapot first of all with water.
2. Infuse your tea, in a pot. This gives the leaves lots of room to expand and move around.
3. Keep the lid off as the tea steeps.
4. Don’t use boiling water as it will ruin the leaves. Water that is just below boiling point is a lot better; it’s less likely to make the tea taste bitter.
5. Let the tea infuse for around five to seven minutes – depending on how strong you like it.

If you’re confused, a hot drink is said to be good on a warm day. Part old wive’s tale; part Biological mystery. However, I don’t drink hot Green Tea on a day like this. I ice it. I’m not a fan of Iced Tea. I don’t like the manufactured stuff. To me, it’s saccharine and has a really unusual taste which just doesn’t appeal to me. If you haven’t already indulged in this homemade version, I recommend you give it a go. It’s incredibly refreshing.

1. Prepare a teapot with Green Tea leaves, use around double the quantity you would normally use.
2. Fill a tall glass with ice-cubes.
3. Once the tea has steeped for your preferred time, pour over the ice.
4. Once your ice has melted, you may wish to add a few more chunks.
5. Enjoy!

Do you like my nice Peroni beer glass? I’d like to thank my Mummy for ‘picking me up’ a matching pair!

It’s as simple as that. I don’t add anything else. Just water, ice and Green Tea leaves. If you want to add honey or sugar or lemon or lime, feel free. Today, for some variation, I added a spoonful of dried mint. It tastes nice, but I think I needed two spoonfuls. It amazes me just how refreshing and how much of a pick-me-up this drink is. Try it, you’ll love it! Cheers!

Any other tea tips or recommendations?

Ms Katykins

Cool for Cats

I was reading a post by the OriginalAppleJunkie about her issues with cats. I can totally relate to this. On my walk to work each morning, I usually encounter a number of cats and I feel hugely unsettled when I pass them by. It just feels like they’re always plotting something sinister!

First of all there is a duo that tag-team me. Thankfully they are kept locked up in a house. They take it in turns to sit in the windowsill at the side of the house so they’re staring right at me as I head towards them. It depends on their mood but either the cat will stop whatever it’s doing and stare me down. Or, and this is worse, it will stand up abruptly and shoot me an evil glare. Creepy. Seriously creepy. I stare back. I can’t help it. Probably wouldn’t have the nerve to if they were outside!

A few yards down the road, I turn left on to Scotland Street. That should be titled something feline related as there are so many of them. It’s like the alleycats in ‘The Aristocats’. It’s their hangout. They’re perched on walls, sprawled across the pavements, lurking under cars. It really creeps me out. I just feel like they’re going to pounce on me!

One morning I did have a chuckle, believe it or not. One little black scruff-ball was chasing a paper bag down the street. It didn’t seem to understand that it was an inanimate object and that the wind, in fact, was playing tricks on him. It was kind of cute really. He stopped when he saw me, turned round and sauntered past me, all nonchalant. Funny, when I looked back round he was peering back at me from behind a garden gate. It was like he was waiting for me to bugger off so he could get back to his fun.

Nevertheless, give me a loveable, huggable, faithful, dependable doggy friend any day!

Ms Katykins

Modern Love

I love to read Starstorm’s daily music blogs! He selects real gems from back in the day and always accompanies them with an anecdote or a great description of what each song evokes for him. I’ve been tempted to give it a go too. I don’t think I’ll do it the same justice as the awesome music bloggers that I faithfully follow. Still, it’ll be fun trying! Starstorm and I were having a little discussion about good sax in 80s music. I wanted to pick a favourite. I thought about Baker Street by the late, great Gerry Rafferty. I thought about Springsteen and Clarence. I contemplated Duran Duran… almost opted for a little bit of Careless Whisper… but that didn’t hit the spot for me. In the end, I just had to go with Bowie. He’s the man!

I chose Modern Love because its opening bars always make me smile. I love the husky little voice over at the start. Bowie’s playing it a little rebelliously, making him very hard to resist. I know it’s cheesy pop. I know it’s kitsch – but it’s fun. I love it. It’s catchy, it’s bright and it’s a song that I don’t think I ever skip when my ipod’s on shuffle!

It’s a step away from Bowie’s deeper lyrics, his moody, brooding tracks and a leap away from his weird and wonderful stage persona. I guess you could say Bowie was sort of selling out with the pretty commercial album of ‘Let’s Dance’ in the 80s but why not? One of the things that I respect the most about Bowie, awesome talent aside, is his ability to move with the times. Madonna’s a similar character. Rather than stagnate, they move with the times and roll with the punches. I think that’s pretty admirable and is a sign of innovation and creativity.

So what are your favourite tracks by Mr David Bowie?

Ms Katykins

Ooh, Films About Writing

My posts are like Glaswegian buses: wait for ages and then three come at once!

The Fabulous Subtle Kate has created a pretty awesome post about films that are about writers… really cool idea, Kate. I was half way through responding with some of my own examples when I thought about her suggestion within her post: make a list of the great ones.

Thus, I am posting a link to her blog and continuing the list. Please feel free to jump onto the bandwagon. Sharing is what it’s all about, right? Plus I (and quite a few of you out there too!) love making and reading lists!

SubtleKate mentioned the wonderful Johnny Depp in Secret Window, which I thoroughly enjoy! Staying on that topic, there is also Finding Neverland

Arguably also Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – just to keep on the Johnny Depp theme (which I am always keen to do!)

Stranger Than Fiction – not actually seen it but my man loved it.

‘Orange County’

Limitless – Fun, visually fantastic!

Bridget Jones’ Diary – what, she writes like all the time!

The Philadelphia Story – journalism counts, right?

Capote – Dark, read the book ‘In True Blood’ if you want the real experience!

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Stand by Me

Il Postino

Marley and Me

The Royal Tenenbaums

How many have you seen? Got any more?

Ms Katykins

Having My Cake and Eating it Too…

Today I had a visit from one of my senior students, currently on Study Leave. She had her friend with her and we got to talking. Her friend was celebrating today as her final day of exams. I said they should go and do something fun. Our talk extended over two periods as I continued to gut my room and as they gossiped with me. It was much fun. They decided to go not long before lunch and I reiterated that they should relax and do something fun together.

That afternoon I was typing away at some work when there was a knock on the door Evidently hanging a Silence, Exam in Progress sign on your door and then forgetting about it is a good way to get some peace and quiet. Anyway, I was told that there were some pupils waiting for me, too afraid to knock. The same two lovely girls, with my student’s sister in tow… With them they had a mysterious looking tinfoil wrapped dome thingamejigga.

A Cake.

Yes, that’s a partially sanded Christopher all naked in the background!

All for me!

Can you believe that? They went and baked me what is probably the most awesome cake ever (yes Mum, I’m sorry – I think it may even beat that amazing cake you got me for Graduation…). A beautiful and very tall fondant covered cake – and no hint of a scent of almonds! It was covered in colourful dots. They told me it had taken them an hour and a half to make. I was really flabbergasted – I said thank you many times and not much else, although I did tell them it was the most beautiful cake I had ever seen. They told me it was a rainbow cake. Majestical, or what?

That afternoon, I went to the bank to try and sort an ongoing issue (ha). Amazingly I stayed really cheery – the weighty gift in my carrier bag was making me smile… as was the Gaelic sign in front of the bank tellers which read something like Cunnterain… wrong spelling of the latter part of the word, still it amused me.

When I got home I had to wait for my man’s return so that I could share the slicing of the cake with him. He was really not all that interested; however, I thought it was pretty fabulous. A five layered rainbow cake with a heck of a lot of food colouring and some awesome butter icing! It was delicious and, forty minutes later, I still feel great…! I shall be taking half back to work tomorrow to share with my colleagues and I shall be making the girls thank you cards. What a fantastic end to an otherwise mediocre day!

Bring on the age of Scratch and Sniff/Taste TV so I can share my stupendous gift with you!

Ms Katykins

I’m Finally in Print – Yay!

Ooh, exciting news!

I just got an e-mail letting me know that Vapid Kitten 7 is now available as a PDF or hard copy. It features a flash that I wrote entitled Quick to Judge. I am really excited because this is actually the first time, to my knowledge, that I’ve been published in print! Woop – woop!

Apart from the fact that I feature in the magazine, I thoroughly recommend that check it out because it’s a fabulous magazine. I’m really proud to be part of something which is so visually stimulating and which features really fantastic examples of art and literature.

I can’t speak highly enough of the Editors, they have been lovely. Anna has been particularly lovely, ensuring that I have been satisfied with the way they have presented my work.

Woop – woop, indeed!

Ms Katykins

Indulge Your Vice!

I’ve not been online much of late. I have started to reclaim my right to reading for pleasure! Many of my colleagues claim to not have time to read. I tell them that I make time. Reading is important to me and it’s something that I really enjoy doing, so why would I willingly deny myself the right to indulge in it?

I have missed blogging, both reading and writing them and I am looking forward to catching up on what I’ve been missing out on. However, this little hiatus has enabled me to read some fabulous texts. For one, I have now finished the Morris Gleitzman trilogy: ‘Once’, ‘Then’ and ‘Now’ and I plan to do a little review very soon. Yesterday I devoured a book called ‘Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name’, a text that my friend had lent me. It was quite wonderful, totally different from anything I’d read. I adore making good progress with a book; it makes me want to read more. I get really excited at the thought of soon being able to select a new one. How childish, eh?

Last night I picked ‘The Accidental’ by Ali Smith. I am a bit weird with books. My man buys books he wants to read. So do I. He buys them when he wants to read them. I don’t. I buy them when I see them, am struck by their intriguing/mysterious/enticing nature. That doesn’t mean I intend to read them just yet. My books and I have to become ready for one another. Does that make sense? I had considered ‘The Accidental’ a number of times and it’s been in my possession for a few years. It wasn’t until last night that I picked it up knowing straight away that that was what I wanted to read; that I was ready. It’s pretty dense, I’ve reached page 132 so far and I think I’m moving pretty fast, almost half way through it.

I mention these three titles partly because they’re current to me; partly because I’ve been impressed by the writing. Gleitzman struck a chord with me emotionally. His texts were endearing, poignant, harrowing at times. He really grabbed me and made me want to read on.

Vida created a protagonist who was not entirely likeable/sympathetic and coupled her with a story which was captivating and unusual. The Scandinavian backdrop was written particularly well and was a visual feast for my imagination.

As for Smith, nearing the half way mark, I have been impressed at the author’s willingness to play with the chapter headings (each one is written on a separate page but marks the start of the chapter’s first sentence) and I just loved the little interlude where she writes a fabulous rundown of a character’s history purely by referring to pop-culture that was key to the era.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope you are escaping every so often into the delightful realms of an imaginary world!

Ms Katykins

The Outtakes

You maybe won’t appreciate this, but as threatened, I’ve made an Outtakes Video from the prep stages of the Good Luck video we made for my students. If I’m honest, I removed large sections where I was swearing at my man and being mean to him for deliberately messing up the takes, lol!

I think you’ll agree that I suck at the whole sock puppet thing… Evidently children spend a lot of time doing this. Maybe I need to start as an adult, god knows I need the practice!

Anyway, hope the randomness of this makes you giggle!

Ms Katykins